The terrifying angel III - Daniel Frini

Texto en español en Breves no tan breves: "El ángel terrible III"

Traducido al inglés por Pablo Martínez Burkett 

(Three of three)

The man revered Rainer Maria Rilke. 

 He looks for love as a homeland, with a very deep desire that it was like his childhood’s loneliness. "The only happy homeland is one formed by children" said Rilke in his Letters, remarking the need of looking for such happy homeland with the aim of finding ourselves, too much away of the faded and conventional adult world. The man fought back the tide of years and surrounded himself with grief ("The sadness is also a wave"). In spite of being locked into a indecipherable maze, he made superhuman efforts to get ahead ("Turn your wall into a stepping stone”). He was in places where the poet lived: Prague, Sankt Pölten, Worpswede, Paris, Duino. Any given day, when he has reached the age of fifty and more, he found his Lou Andreas-Salome, in Munich. Nobody knows her name but she was beautiful.
Then, they decided to follow Rilke’s footsteps, by Italy and Russia, Denmark, Sweden, Holland, Spain and Switzerland.

At first, they were lovers. In ceremonies that could last hours, his tongue crossed her whole skin, savoring flavors and smiling with her shivers. In return, she played with her mouth taking away imperceptible moans.

Love consists in this, two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other

Then she became his lover but also his friend. Anyway, her beauty, strengthened with a strange joy, grew up till be unbearable for him.

The beauty is the beginning of the terrible. Every angel is terrifying.

The man found love, his homeland and the loneliness of his childhood. She died. His tomb is in Rarogne cemetery in Valais. She rest a few yards away of poet’s.

Now the man looks out the window. Outside, tiny flakes announce the first snowfall of the year. Behind the bars, gardeners clean up the park lawn, which is care and yellow. A little yonder, behind the fence, cars go down the cold avenue, as much distant as if he was on Mars. The 5 p.m. nurse opens the door. The man did not even pay attention.

The terrifying angel I

The terrifying angel II

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